Michelle Bachmann is a fuckwit.
That’s right, I said it. And now this fuckwit of a human being is getting her own action figure doll? If this isn’t a ‘wtf’ moment then I don’t know what is. A company called Herobuilders has recently unveiled their creation and Bachmann’s doll will be sold alongside the likes of Blagojevich (the impeached Illinois gov), Ahmadinejad (pres of Iran), and even Joe the Plumber (douchebag extraordinaire). Wow, kids across the country should be so lucky to snag these ‘heroes’ for their collections! When the CEO of Herobuilders was asked what goes into choosing a figure for his dolls he had quite the interesting response.
“There’s a lot of thought that goes into that,” he said. “Sometimes it’s just very easy, like Joe Wilson when he called Obama a liar. I mean you have to be an action figure then. Sarah Palin, that was pretty obvious.”
That’s it? All you have to do is prove that you’re a beacon of stupid and you get your own action figure? Did I also forget to mention that these dolls are starting at $39.95 and go up to well over $100 a pop? Awesome. Anyway, since the requirements of becoming a ‘hero’ in plastic form are certainly specific, let’s go over why Bachmann apparently deserves this.
Swine flu seems to be on everyone’s mind these days, so let’s start there. H1N1 can prove to be quite devastating this flu season and Bachmann has some interesting thoughts on what caused it.
“I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out then under another Democrat President, Jimmy Carter. And I’m not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it’s an interesting coincidence.” – Michelle Bachmann
Did she just… yes, I think she did. Not only is she “not blaming” swine flu on Obama, she doesn’t even know that it wasn’t Carter that first handled the outbreak in the 70s – it was Republican President Ford. Hmmm what else doesn’t Bachmann know? Well, a few more quotes courtesy of Keith Olbermann of MSNBC. (I love him!)
“I don’t think it has been established yet, as a fact, that global warming is the issue of the day.” (laughter ensues)
“But there isn’t even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas. Carbon dioxide, Mr. Speaker, is a natural byproduct of nature.”
“She (Nancy Pelosi) is committed to her global warming fanaticism to the point where she has said that she’s been trying to save the planet. We all know that someone did that over 2,000 years ago. They saved the planet, we didn’t need Nancy Pelosi to do that.”
“Really, now in Washington I’m a foreign correspondent on enemy lines.”
“I want people of Minnesota armed and dangerous on this issue of energy tax… ”
“It is the mother of all ironies, John and Brian, that the kids who voted en masse for Barack Obama are the ones being fitted with shackles and chains.”
“Not all cultures are equal. Not all values are equal.”
So, if being a bumbling, stupid, ignorant, god-fearing cunt is all you need to be for someone to epitomize you into mini-plastic form , Michelle Bachmann deserves one.